If You Liked ‘If I Had Legs I’d Kick You,’ You Need to Watch these 4 Films About Monstrous Motherhood

As a woman in her early thirties, motherhood has been on my mind even though I’m unsure if I want it for myself. I’ve always said I could easily be a father, or a glamorous, slightly aloof auntie with a mysterious source of income. I could be a stepmom. I could be a grandmother. But I never saw myself being a mother.

On one hand, I believe motherhood is the hardest, most transformative, and rewarding role a woman can take on, and I want a world that is infinitely more compassionate toward mothers and children. On the other hand, I can’t shake the feeling that motherhood operates as a kind of death, the end of the freedom, autonomy, and pleasure that defines girlhood. Men become fathers and largely stay themselves. Women become mothers and are expected to become someone else entirely. What you wear, what you do, how you move through public space, how you present yourself online, and how you prioritize your time, are all up for discussion and scrutiny. You sacrifice your body, your mind, and often your career and earning potential. Even in the healthiest and most equitable heterosexual partnerships, the bulk of the responsibility still falls on women.

This is why I don’t judge women for speaking openly about how much motherhood can suck, even when it contains undeniable pockets of beauty and joy. This is also why I’m not surprised that motherhood seemed to be the topic of nearly every one of the best-reviewed (or most talked about) movies this past year. In If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, Die, My Love!, Hamnet, and even Wuthering Heights, motherhood is portrayed as a slow erasure of self, a rupture in an otherwise healthy relationship, a never-ending nightmare that the protagonists are desperate to wake up from. And even when a protagonist is enjoying motherhood, there is always the potential for immense grief and loss.

If you’ve seen any of the films I just mentioned, and you’re looking for something a little more horrifying in the literal sense, then you’ve come to the right place. Consider referring to this roundup the next time your partner, your mother, or your mother-in-law asks when you’re having kids, or if you’re having baby fever and need to get rid of it fast. You’re welcome.