I Don’t Really Care for Sam Raimi’s ‘The Evil Dead’

I’ve always wanted the Herman Miller Eames Lounge Chair (if you know, you know). It’s an enduring classic, one of the most sought-after pieces of furniture of all time. There’s no denying the sheer artistry and craftsmanship in Charles and Ray Eames’ collaboration with Herman Miller, but among my social circle, I’m the only one who gets it. To everyone else, it’s a beautiful chair– hell, a gorgeous chair—but not exactly their taste. That’s like me when it comes to The Evil Dead, the mammoth-sized horror universe Sam Raimi’s guerrilla instincts birthed decades ago. I just… don’t really like it.

Despite that, The Evil Dead has been such a firm part of my life, probably more than any other horror property, and that includes Scream (I love Scream). One of my favorite nights ever involved a bootleg production of Evil Dead: The Musical deep in the Maryland woods (I was drenched in fake blood). The Evil Dead is my best friend’s favorite horror movie. I’ve had three different Grindr dates over the years put on The Evil Dead for me to watch. Bruce Campbell is certainly an aphrodisiac, but I’m not sure Deadite splatter is…

The Evil Dead has been everywhere, so formative in not just horror’s history but my own, that I remain somewhat confounded that it’s largely not a franchise I care for. I think The Evil Dead is fine as a gag, and its sequel, Evil Dead II, a more streamlined, gorier gag. I admire the vision of Army of Darkness, and growing up, I even played Evil Dead: Hail to the King and Evil Dead: A Fistful of Boomstick. They’re fine, but still leagues ahead of the more recent asynchronous multiplayer entry. Friends dragged me to see Fede Alvarez’s remake/reboot no fewer than five times. Everyone always asks if I’ve seen the show (I have, and it wasn’t for me). Evil Dead Rise… well, it released.

Strangely, too (and please don’t rev your chainsaws at me), Sébastien Vaniček’s looks like the entry that might finally win me over. In truth, though, the broad appeal has largely evaded me for my entire, horror-loving adult life. Make no mistake; I’ll happily and easily concede is a masterpiece. What Sam Raimi and company accomplished there was no small feat, and the way they’ve managed to sustain a franchise largely immune to diminishing returns after almost 50 years is nothing short of impressive.