‘Ebenezer’ Review – A Cold Retelling of a Heartwarming Classic

Bah, humbug.

When Ti West’s (Maxxxine) adaptation of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, Ebenezer, was announced, I immediately pictured that Ryan Reynolds meme, but why? Well, after seeing West’s somewhat darker yet middling take, I’m left with the same question.

The classic haunter takes us to a chilly Christmas Eve in London, where we meet the world’s biggest holiday hater, Ebenezer Scrooge (Johnny Depp). Seven years after the death of his business partner, Jacob Marley (Ian McKellen), Scrooge is at his most belligerent and lonely. That night, the ghost of his old friend visits him and warns him of three spirits who will soon arrive. Learn their lessons, and the grumpy old bastard may get a second shot at life. Ignore them, and he’ll spend eternity in the chains he’s created for himself.

Let’s get the gigantic elephant out of the way first, shall we? Billed as Depp’s big “comeback” film, it’s impossible not to tie the actor’s personal life together with the theme of redemption that has made A Christmas Carol a timeless tale. Of course, I’m referring to his long history of abuse allegations. Now, I’m not here to re-litigate any of that. But there’s no way to watch Ebenezer without seeing it as a sort of “redemption” attempt for the actor, as well. And if you’re not on Depp’s side at this point, West’s latest is going to feel pretty icky. Point blank.

And that’s before getting to the question…who even asked for this?