‘The Blood Countess’ Review: A Luscious But Disappointing Take on Lesbian Vampires [Fantastic Fest]

Countess Elizabeth Bathory is a pillar of real-world horror villains, a woman who supposedly killed virgins and bathed in their blood to preserve her youth. So of course, her story has been adapted countless (see what i did there?) times in horror, from the iconic blood bath kill in Hostel Part II to a slasher villain in the video game movie Stay Alive. Her story is vicious, brutal, and, in some interpretations, can be read as queer. So to have a new film inspired by this figure of historic horror, starring the legendary Isabelle Huppert, was an exciting prospect, to say the least. Unfortunately, writer and director Ulrike Ottinger’s The Blood Countess squanders that potential with a confused script that’s never quite sure what tone it wants to strike. 

The film opens on Huppert’s Elizabeth Bathory riding through an underground channel in an unnecessarily gaudy red boat. She sits at the boat’s very front, like some kind of bloodthirsty figurehead, guiding the vessel through the still water. It’s gorgeously camp, outrageous and ostentatious in presentation, with a regal Huppert carrying it all proudly on her shoulders. She has awoken from a decades-long sleep, rising to lead her coven of vampires once again while searching for a particular book said to cure vampirism. 

What ensues is a vampire road movie horror/comedy that follows Bathory and her servant, Hermine (Birgit Minichmayr), on a journey to find said book. Along the way, they recruit Bathory’s nephew, Rubi Bubi (Thomas Schubert), a vegetarian vampire who spends most of the film trying to convince his therapist (Lars Eidinger) that bloodsuckers are, in fact, real. He also inexplicably dresses like the Lucky Charms leprechaun, a hilariously awkward foil to Bathory’s sumptuous red gowns. The ragtag group of vampires also encounter eccentric vampirologists, a vampiric drag queen (Conchita Wurst), and a wide array of bizarre yet charming characters who occupy this strange world. 

However, despite the whispers of camp and dedication to a glamorous, over-the-top aesthetic, Uttinger is never quite sure what kind of tone she wants to strike in and never fully commits to the camp of it all. Most of the film feels like an uneven horror comedy that wants to be camp, but isn’t sure how to be camp beyond gaudy costumes and periodic musical numbers. It ultimately comes down to Uttinger not fully understanding the world she’s created. Yes, it’s gorgeous to look at, and the performances are never dull. But it’s easy to get lost trying to understand what the film is even about.